The Round of 16 (Feat. Rory Talks Football)
The knockout rounds have arrived at EURO 2024.
The EURO 2024 group stage is done and dusted, with some questionable spectacles on Matchday Three offset by stunning last-minute winners and equalizers to shake up the knockout bracket. Yes, the days of doing advanced calculus to determine who will qualify as a third-place team are over, but the wall-to-wall international football programming went with them. There’s no longer a top-level match on every four minutes, but beginning on Saturday, we’ll be treated to a Round of 16 double feature each day.
Here to preview the first knockout round at the European Championship is Rory Talks Football, who returns to the show to offer the same kind of insight he regularly serves up to an audience of hundreds of thousands across TikTok and beyond. We look back on a (mostly) wild and memorable group stage, examine the eight matchups still to come, Rory makes his four semifinalist predictions, and we attempt to diagnose the many ills of Gareth Southgate and his beloved England:
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FRIDAY
COLOMBIA vs COSTA RICA
6pm ET, 11pm BST
The Colombians were hugely favored coming into Copa América, and they top Group D having dispatched Paraguay in their opener. James RodrÃguez is built different for the national team and he’s still just 32 years old, pulling the strings and serving up assists for Los Cafeteros’ many weapons going forward. Costa Rica gave a good account of themselves against brawny Brazil on Matchday One, though, and Colombia’s center back partnership of Yerry Mina and Davinson Sánchez might just have a mistake in them.
PARAGUAY vs BRAZIL
9pm ET, 1am BST
The Paraguayans were fairly poor against Colombia, particularly their theoretical talisman Miguel Almirón of Newcastle United, but Brazil didn’t exactly announce themselves to this Tournament of the Américas either. The Seleção must show more here—the Brazilian press and public demand it—and they’ve certainly got the personnel. The interchangeable Premier League midfield of Lucas Paquetá, Bruno Guimarães, Douglas Luiz, and João Gomes should be feeding the spectacular front line featuring Champions League winners Vini Jr. and Rodrygo. If they do click into gear, this could get bloody for the Paraguayans.
SATURDAY
SWITZERLAND vs ITALY
12pm ET, 5pm BST
Defending champions Italy required a Del Piero-esque intervention from Mattia Zaccagni to get here and send Croatia packing at the group stage. Now they face Granit Xhaka and Switzerland, who’ve looked solid, organized, and extremely well-coached so far. Look out for Dan Ndoye, too—he’s been a handful running in behind defenses.
GERMANY vs DENMARK
3pm ET, 8pm BST
The hosts will be firm favorites against their next-door neighbors, even if the Danish fans can be expected to show up in force. The silky German midfield of Toni Kroos, İlkay Gündoğan, Jamal Musiala, and Florian Wirtz could be too much for Christian Eriksen, Pierre-Emile Højbjerg and Co. Plus, the Danes have struggled to score goals.
ARGENTINA vs PERU
8pm ET, 1am BST
The world champions coasted through to the knockout rounds with victories over Canada and old enemies Chile, who defeated them in two consecutive finals to deny them the Copa América in 2015 and 2016. La Roja left one last mark on Lionel Messi and the Argentines with some rough-and-tumble play at MetLife Stadium on Tuesday, and the great one took some extended treatment after a bruising challenge in the same arena where his heart was broken by the same opposition eight years ago. It’s unclear whether he’ll be fit for this one, but Messi seems determined to deliver the appropriate spectacle for all those who come to see him. Back in his new hometown of Miami, you’ve got to think he’ll make an appearance.
CANADA vs CHILE
8pm ET, 1am BST
This could be a tempestuous encounter between two sides who are in with a shot to qualify for the quarterfinal round. Peru can still make it, too, but it’s far more likely to be one of these two. The Canadians did not get much of a foothold against those Peruvians last time out until Miguel Araujo got himself sent off, and maple-leaf manager Jesse Marsch still has much to prove. This is a great opportunity to do so against an aging Chilean squad who’ve still got some wily operators and dormant match-winners. Alexis Sánchez and crew know this competition very, very well, and they will not exit quietly.
SUNDAY
ENGLAND vs SLOVAKIA
12pm ET, 5pm BST
The notoriously calm and measured English media has been doing its thing with this team, but in fairness, the rank-and-file fans may be in greater revolt. Criticism of Gareth Southgate’s conservative approach has shifted towards evisceration of his team’s meek performances in a lackluster Group C, but fortune is on the Three Lions’ side once again. They’ve drawn one of the weaker Round of 16ers in Slovakia, and their path to the final is as straightforward as they could reasonably have hoped for. Much more on this one in the conversation with Rory!
SPAIN vs GEORGIA
3pm ET, 8pm BST
The Spaniards have been the toast of the tournament so far, with their flying young wingers in Nico Williams and Lamine Yamal combined with Pedri’s craft and Rodri’s steel in midfield. They may be far too much for plucky Georgia, who pasted Portugal 2-0 on the final matchday of the group stage through the mesmerizing, mazy dribbling (and clinical finishing) of Kvicha Kvaratskhelia. Can he and the Georgians pull one more rabbit out of the hat?
MEXICO vs ECUADOR
8pm ET, 1am BST
El Tri are the latest team to find out what the Venezuelans are about in this tournament, and the L they took on Wednesday puts them at severe risk of crashing out of Copa América at the group stage. It would be a massive disappointment for North America’s fading football power, and Ecuador constitutes their most difficult match in this group. The 17-year-old phenom Kendry Páez looks right at home at this level, backed by midfield general Moisés Caicedo and tons of pace down the Ecuadorian flanks. They’re a dangerous outfit with their own designs on a place in the quarterfinals, and their midnight-blue away kits are class-class-class.⚽︎